Five years ago, I found myself in a place where I was not thriving.
Overweight, depressed, completely disconnected with myself, a stay at home mama with a failing marriage.
I remember making excuses, feeling overwhelmed by the thought of change, not even knowing where to start and feeling guilty I couldn’t be more or better for all around me.
And then, it came to me, I was standing by my dining room table holding my youngest on my hip on hand on the dining room table keep me steady... getting ready to help the oldest kiddo with homework.
“Sarah, all I need you to do is show up”.
And so, I decided to start showing up for myself.
I stole time for yoga, I started pulling out art supplies when the kids did and I picked up my guitar again.
A while later in new ways for the kids and husband.
And then other relationships with boundaries (why are boundaries so hard?!)
Of the three, showing up for myself still proves to be the hardest/most important work.
For me showing up meant I allowed myself moments of pleasure (enjoying physical touch, art and music as often as possible), moving my body (originally just yoga), eating clean and getting deep into counseling and journaling.
These have been amazing self care tools.
It's been a long journey learning to acknowledge and support myself.
Showing up for myself continues to be my hardest and most rewarding work.